12.13.2009

Denial

When I don't eat gluten I feel great! When I eat gluten I feel exhausted, moody, like I'm coming down with the flu and any other number of annoying symptoms. Yet there's still this part of me, call it lazy or craving normalicy (is that a word?) or normality (I think that's the real word there) anyway, there's this part of me that decides in my brain that I'd rather eat what I know and love then what my body loves.
Crazy huh?

I end up in this vicious cycle of eating gluten free & feeling great and then deciding I'm tired of working at eating gluten free and or I just really want a cheeseburger or quesadilla or _______ fill in the blank.
I think to myself, I'll just eat this one meal with gluten and then go back to being gluten free. Yeah right. I then slide down the slippery slope and find myself a week or a month later thinking, yuck! I feel horrible and I'm too tired to do the things I want to do.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!

I am still in my cyclical state of denial at the moment, eating gluten and feeling mediocre because it's the holidays and I don't have the inner strength right now to keep myself eating what I should be while traveling and spending the holidays with family. I like to deny that I should obviously be eating food that makes my body feel well. Thinking instead that I'm eating what I've always eaten. And unfortunately, I feel the way I've always felt. Tired, achy, moody and like I'm coming down with something.

I've searched the internet, books & articles, looking for someone like me. Someone who has been tested and does NOT have celiac ... someone though who can tell an incredible life changing difference when they don't eat gluten. Someone who could help inspire me to live a gluten free lifestyle even though I don't technically have to. I haven't found anyone.

So, I started this blog in hopes that if there's someone else out there who is a non-celiac gluten sensitive individual, they might find this blog and relate to my struggles and be encouraged to start or to continue their effort towards being gluten free and finding a happier, healthier version of themselves. I am also hoping that blogging about this aspect of my life will encourage me to get it together and find that happier, healthier version of myself!

No comments:

Post a Comment